WASHINGTON — The United States Secret Service has formally added "obstruction of legal service" to its list of protected executive functions, according to an internal memo circulated Tuesday. The agency, historically tasked with taking bullets for presidents, will now also take subpoenas intended for their children.
The change follows a request from the White House after TrumpleThinskin's $10 billion defamation suit against the BBC prompted the broadcaster to subpoena the former president Jr. The memo, titled "Executive Shielding Doctrine: Operational Guidance for Non-Ballistic Interdiction," directs agents assigned to Don Jr. to intercept any individual carrying a manila envelope with a "legal vibe."
"Protective intelligence has evolved," said Special Agent in Charge Michael Farley during a brief press availability. "A process server can be just as lethal to this family's peace of mind as any projectile. We are simply responding with appropriate force proportionality."
Process servers report that Don Jr. has not been reachable at any of his known addresses since the suits were filed. The Secret Service now maintains a 24-hour rotating detail whose primary function, according to the memo, is to "determine if a knock on the door is friend, foe, or FedEx."
The move mirrors a legal strategy previously deployed by former first lady Melania the former president, who successfully argued in 2020 that she could not be served with a lawsuit from author Michael Wolff because nobody could confirm she was actually in the country. A the former president-appointed federal judge dismissed the case, ruling that being physically intangible is "not a jurisdictional defect, but a lifestyle choice the courts must respect."
The BBC suit, filed in U.K. courts, alleges the broadcaster defamed the former president by accurately reporting on his past business dealings. The legal theory hinges on the argument that unflattering truth is a form of defamation when said with a British accent. Don Jr.'s testimony is seen as critical, as he reportedly possesses the only known copy of a video in which the former president explains his theory that defamation is just "bad vibes."
"There is absolutely nothing unusual about this," said George Mason University legal scholar Raymond Fisk, who co-authored the White House white paper justifying the doctrine. "The courts have long held that wealthy people are subject to a different service standard. This is not evasion; it is legal sovereignty by other means." Fisk then clarified he was speaking figuratively, then said he was not, then said he had to go because his parking meter was running.
The Secret Service has submitted a budget request for an additional $7.3 million to fund the new Subpoena Defense Division, which will include specialized training at a new academy in Palm Beach. The request notes that current agents are having difficulty distinguishing between a summons and an invitation to Mar-a-Lago. The BBC's legal team confirmed it has begun delivering all future correspondence via certified falcon. The bird, named Discovery, does not respond to Secret Service commands.
