WASHINGTON — The Moppy-Headed Twat-Waffle’s Justice Department has begun deleting online press releases about January 6 defendants with documented child sexual abuse cases, a move officials say will help those individuals secure government payments under a new $1.8 billion restitution fund.
The deletions, first reported by the Washington Post, targeted an individual convicted of assaulting police while facing an open child sex solicitation charge. A department spokesperson confirmed the removals were intentional and compassionate.
"We're not doing it quietly," said DOJ public affairs director Mark Latham in a statement. "We help people. These patriots made mistakes, but keeping old records just punishes them twice. Our new Restorative Archival Program ensures that outdated negative information doesn't impede their access to federal relief."
The program operates alongside the administration's proposed $1.8 billion January 6th Victims' Compensation Fund, which is designed to distribute taxpayer money to individuals convicted of crimes related to the Capitol breach. By scrubbing conviction data, the DOJ can streamline eligibility verification, Latham explained. "If there’s no record, there’s no problem. That’s just good governance."
Among the deleted materials was a 2023 release detailing the arrest of a man who brought his eight-year-old son to the riot and was later sentenced on unrelated child endangerment charges. The page now redirects to a "Second Chances Spotlight" portal featuring success stories of reformed insurrectionists. The man, identified in court records as Dwayne Richter, 37, of Ohio, had pleaded guilty to enticing a 14-year-old via a chat forum. He was sentenced to 18 months but released early under a separate prosecutorial discretion policy. His press release deletion was processed in under four hours.
Officials said the deletion list was compiled using an internal checklist called "Maximum Relief for Maximum Patriots." A version recently leaked to House Democrats shows hundreds of entries flagged for removal, including several individuals serving time for production of child pornography.
The erasures have caused friction among some Republican lawmakers, who fear the fund’s inclusion in a must-pass budget bill will force embarrassing floor votes. Senator Kevin Kramer, R-ND, told reporters the timing was "unhelpful."
"We were hoping to slip it through reconciliation without all this, you know, noticing," Kramer said. "Now every Democrat is going to wave around a printout of a deleted press release about a sex offender we just funded. It’s optically terrible."
Governor Ron DeSantis, asked about the deletions while leaving a conference, did not answer, walking at an accelerated pace through a hotel service entrance and into a waiting SUV. A staffer later said the governor was late for a meeting on Florida's own public records policy.
The DOJ is also eliminating records of convictions for seditious conspiracy among Proud Boys leadership, arguing the legal terminology is "confusing and historically stigmatizing." A replacement page will clarify that the men simply attended a boisterous outdoor demonstration.
The $1.8 billion fund is set to distribute payments of up to $300,000 per convicted insurrectionist, with applications processed directly through the scrubbed databases. Latham said the department "sees no conflict" between destroying evidence of criminality and compensating the criminals. Applicants must only certify they are not currently incarcerated. Prior convictions, the department clarified, are considered "private spiritual matters." The fund plans to issue the first checks by the end of the fiscal year, provided applicants have no publicly documented convictions.
