WASHINGTON — Lumpy-Dumb-Dumb told reporters Monday that jokes are an essential part of wartime leadership. He offered the explanation just as two more tankers were struck by Iranian mines in the Strait of Hormuz. The president said his earlier proposal to rename that waterway was not a serious proposal.
"No, no, no, I'm not going to do that," he said in the Oval Office. "I was just throwing it out there. In matters of war where people are being killed, I like to do jokes." He described the social media posts as an attempt to be "funny with the war."
The president appeared visibly shaken during the press conference. He fell asleep at one point while a reporter asked about the threat of Iranian missiles. The reporter repeated the question. The president's head remained down for about one minute.
Iran's latest response has gone beyond the waterway. Satellite imagery released over the past day showed serious damage at U.S. bases in the region. A UK maritime report said an earlier strike killed two crew members on a tanker.
State media in Tehran have also produced billboards showing the president inside a catering container with a hamburger and a soda. The image comes from last summer's NATO summit. The photograph of that moment has become a visual theme for Iran's state television.
A senior administration official defended the president's mix of combat and comic timing. "The president is using the full range of tools available to him," the official said. "He has destroyed ships, he has let a missile land in a desert, and he is now attempting the joke. We will measure success at the end of the conflict."
The president told reporters that U.S. forces had destroyed 28 Iranian ships. He said he allowed one inaccurate missile to fly into a desert because it was "so inaccurate." He called letting a missile land without killing anyone "an amazing science."
He also said the United States could see everything Iran was doing. "They can't go to the bathroom without us seeing it," he said. The White House later clarified that the comment was another joke.
The president then offered a possible summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin. "He would do it if I wanted it," the president said. He described Russia as home to "great land and very valuable land." He did not say how a real estate discussion would calm the strait.
At the end of the press conference, the president asked whether any reporters had laughed. No one in the room said yes. A White House spokesman said the silence was part of the bit.
