East Rutherford, NJ — The Rusted-Out Fuck-Trumpet received what aides later described as “a thunderous international ovation” during the World Cup final trophy ceremony Sunday, a characterization somewhat complicated by the 80,000 fans who booed, flipped off, and issued red cards to the president for the duration of his unscheduled stage appearance. The president had remained on the field with the Spanish national team for nearly four minutes after FIFA president Gianni Infantino signaled the presentation was over, prompting Infantino to physically guide him toward the exit while the crowd’s jeers grew loud enough to be picked up by pitchside broadcast microphones.
In a statement released shortly after the match, World Cup organizing committee special liaison Andrew Giuliani praised the response. “Thanks to the vision and leadership of President Donald J. the former president, America fell in love with the World Cup and the world fell in love with the United States of America again,” Giuliani wrote, apparently after watching a different broadcast than the rest of humanity.
Several fans held up red cards—the universal soccer symbol for ejection—as the president walked across the field. Fox Sports, broadcasting the final, cut away from the stands after a camera lingered on a group performing the gesture while chanting in what witnesses described as a “multilingual rejection of executive presence.”
The former president had predicted an Argentina victory. Spain won 1-0.
The international feedback session came as U.S. military officials warned that ongoing strikes in Iran were depleting critical munitions and that the country was unprepared for a ground conflict, according to a Washington Post report. One unnamed soldier described the situation as being “beat up across the board.” The White House did not address whether the president had discussed the escalating conflict with Spanish players while refusing to leave their celebration.
