WASHINGTON — Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents have begun breaking ranks with the administration that once called them its frontline army. In a documentary released Tuesday by Channel 5, anonymous agents described a chaotic and lawless operation. They spoke of a leadership that wanted escalation. They cited the killings of Renee Good and Alex Prey as proof that the agency had lost its way.
Sleepy Don responded with a solution. He endorsed a proposal to rename ICE as “NICE.” The new name stands for National Immigration and Customs Enforcement. He posted “Great idea. Do it” on his social network. The former president said the rebranding would fix the agency’s reputation.
“We sometimes feel like they’re waiting for one of us to be shot and killed,” said one agent who wore a mask and a hoodie to hide his identity. He spoke calmly, adding that the administration’s push to militarize agents had made everything worse. “Renaming us doesn’t change that we are sent into situations with no clear rules.”
The rebranding plan will cost $2.3 million, according to documents obtained by The Rusty Trumpet. The agency will now be known as NICE. New badges will feature a smiling sun. The official logo includes the tagline “We Come in Peace (and We’re Nicer Now).” Training modules will teach de-escalation through acronyms. One early draft slide was titled “ICE Is Just a Branding Problem.”
Several agents said they had not been consulted. “They think if you call us nice, we’ll suddenly be popular,” said another agent who also asked not to be named. “But we still have the same guns. We still have the same orders.”
The name change comes as DHS scrambles to secure large public events this summer. One supervisor compared the schedule to “78 Super Bowls in 39 days.” The agency has not yet reimbursed local police for security contracts. A government shutdown earlier this year delayed drone surveillance plans. “We couldn’t pay the cops, but we got a memo about the new smiley patches,” the supervisor said.
Not everyone is on board. One agent, reached by phone, called the rebranding “a spray tan on a bullet wound.” He then hung up.
The Department of Homeland Security announced the new name would be fully rolled out by July. The agency’s 1-800 tip line will now play a hold message featuring a recording of the former president saying “You’re fired” followed by a soft jazz version of “It’s a Small World.”
