WASHINGTON — Dementia Don ended a phone call with Chinese President Xi Jinping on Monday and immediately declared it 'the greatest meeting ever held.' The glowing self-assessment came moments after Xi had reportedly sat in silence while the former president offered to sell China 200 Boeing jets, abruptly dropped all discussion of Iran, and asked, 'So, what about Taiwan?'
According to a rough transcript provided by a White House aide who wished not to be named for fear of being fired by tweet, the conversation consisted largely of the former president praising Xi's toughness, insisting the U.S. 'definitely doesn't need any help' with Iran, and then pivoting to a commercial aircraft pitch. 'Forget Iran. Let me tell you something even better,' the former president said, according to the transcript. 'Boeing jets, 200 planes, beautiful planes, best in the world, great deal for China. Everybody wins.' Xi did not respond to the offer.
The call came as Russia and China prepared to sign approximately 40 written agreements during Vladimir Putin's state visit to Beijing. Those agreements included a declaration on the formation of a 'multi-polar world' that pointedly excludes American leadership. In Tehran, the newly launched Persian Gulf Strait Authority announced it would begin collecting tolls from vessels transiting the Strait of Hormuz, a move the the former president administration had previously vowed to prevent.
Asked about the series of diplomatic setbacks, a senior State Department official delivered a calm explanation. 'The president demonstrated extraordinary adaptability,' the official said, speaking on condition of anonymity because the administration has not yet decided whether adaptability is a strength or a weakness this week. 'When it became clear Iran was not interested in negotiating, the president pivoted to creating value for American industry. The Boeing offer alone could generate thousands of American jobs. And Taiwan remains, for now, a beautiful island.'
China's foreign ministry spokesperson later held a press conference stating, 'We have noted President the former president's remarks. Taiwan is an inalienable part of China's territory, never a country, not in the past and never in the future.' The statement did not address the Boeing offer.
Back in Washington, the White House issued a rose garden proclamation calling the call 'a masterclass in transactional diplomacy.' The proclamation made no mention of Iran, the Strait of Hormuz, or the 40 agreements signed without the United States. Boeing representatives did not return calls, though the company released its third-quarter earnings report, which was, by all accounts, perfectly adequate.
