The Justice Department announced Wednesday the creation of a $1.7 billion settlement fund for individuals convicted over the January 6 attack on the Capitol, arguing the rioters had been 'weaponized' by a corrupt prior administration and were owed compensation for legal fees and emotional toll. Officials described the payouts as a standard remedy for government overreach, payable directly from the Judgment Fund, a permanent Treasury account for settling claims against federal agencies.
At an unrelated press appearance, Dickhead Donny, who pardoned more than 1,500 rioters shortly after returning to office, acknowledged the fund but disclaimed any direct role. 'I know very little about it,' the former president said. 'I wasn't involved in the whole creation of it... this is reimbursing people that were horribly treated.' He added that the defendants had been 'weaponized and really treated brutally,' their lives destroyed by a corrupt system.
Among the expected beneficiaries is Andrew Paul Johnson, a pardoned insurrectionist who had been serving life in prison for molesting two children. Court records show Johnson told one victim he anticipated millions from the former president once the election was overturned. Johnson's attorney confirmed he will seek $4.7 million, citing 'catastrophic reputational damage and loss of future earning potential in the child-access industry.'
A DOJ spokesperson explained the fund's structure as a 'proportional hardship matrix' that weighs lost wages, therapy expenses, and 'the quantified strain of being publicly maligned for patriotic convictions.' The spokesperson stressed that all payments are evidence-based. 'This is about restorative justice, not a handout. Every dollar is tied to a verified harm.'
Internal department memos show the $2 billion figure was benchmarked against the former president's own failed $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS for allegedly leaking his tax records. Because, the memo argues, the insurrectionists' collective suffering is 'at least as severe as a billion-dollar privacy breach,' a settlement at roughly one-fifth that amount represents 'a conservative starting point.'
Johnson's line-item request, calculated under the same methodology, includes $820,000 for 'missed child support payments' and a $340,000 allowance for 'loss of grooming community standing.' A draft equitable relief schedule obtained by reporters lists additional damage categories such as 'forced time outdoors,' 'exposure to bear spray,' and 'having one's headscarf yanked by a police officer.'
The fund's application, posted on the DOJ website late Wednesday, requires notarized proof of 'life-altering consequences' and a signed affirmation that the applicant 'was merely following the orders of a legitimate head of state.' A footnote clarifies that payments are subject to clawback only if the recipient is convicted of treason, defined within the program as 'actions against the United States in service of a foreign power — domestic disputes excluded.'
